That's It: I'm buying a Hummer 2

I saw an article about the Hummer 2. Incredulous as it seems, GM is still making the model, and, even more incredulous, some people are still buying this car. Despite the obvious drawback of getting 12 mpg, (and costing 69,000) the Hummer has other unfortunate, and even downright dangerous, features. Apparently, poor rear visibility makes backing up the Hummer difficult. Because the Hummer is so high off the ground, you can't really see much more than the roof of most cars behind you. Also, because of the size and braking system, the article opines it's wise not to follow other cars too closely.

Nevertheless, GM hopes, these are small points, because the Hummer 2 has heated, cushioned seats, a seven slot grill, plenty of leg room, and nifty cup holders! And it's off road capability is great, and the Hummer 2 can tow up to 8,000 pounds! Not to mention, a rocket launcher could fire at you and you'd probably live to tell the tale. (Studies say this happens frequently in places like rural Wyoming)

For the typical gal or gent, these features should offset high cost and gas prices. I know that when I drive around Boston, there are hardly ever any other drivers (or animals, pedestrians, parked cars, bikers, etc..) around me. In fact, the road is usually completely open for miles in front of me. Bostonians never tailgate so I shouldn't have to worry about plowing over cars in front of me. As for parking, poor visibility while backing up a 6,000 pound vehicle shouldn't be a problem. Rarely do I have to park my car anywhere but in my own spacious driveway.

Frequently, though, even in Boston I find myself having to clunk over gigantic boulders, cross raging rivers, plow up mountains, and tow 8,000 pounds of gear. And I'm always driving around with at least an entire soccer team in my back seat. And groceries are so heavy, my stinking Toyota Echo practically drags along carrying such stuff. Finally, you never know when someone might try to machine gun or bomb my car as I drive through the burbs.

Whew! Thank Goddess for the Hummer 2!!!