Sunday, July 30, 2006

Gigantisch Amischer Mann

Gigantisch Amischer Mann
One of my alter egos is Amish Man, so it's my sacred duty to keep up on the lastest Amish Man trivia and stories. Do a google search for 'Amish Man,' and you'll quickly find out a few fascinating facts & news reports to relate at your next party. ((Most of the reports focus on tragedy & the (infrequent) AMish man gone bad)). Here are the details:
1. only one Amish Man has ever been arrested for murder. 2. a 75 year old Amish Man was recently scammed for thousands of dollars by a prostitute. 3. unfortunately an Amish Man was recently run down in his buggy by an SUV. & 4. gigantic Amish Men figures have been lurking about for some time now in places like Strasburg, Pennsylvania and Milford, Delaware. Amish Men can be found unceremoniously propped up in front of diners and used car lots. Sometimes he has a pitchfork & is accompanied by Amish Woman. He usually looks pretty happy for an Amish Man. See below for yourself....

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

But, We're Civil War Reenactors....

But We're Civil War Reenactors....
My friend Liz sent me this cartoon a long time ago. Wanted to post it for awhile.... I am a civil war reenactor, in slightly better shape than these guys, but still hopefully won't be recruited. Click on the image to see more clearly...

Friday, July 21, 2006

Speak Again, Buddha Goddess

25 More Reasons to Meditate & Embrace Buddhism

51. to open my eyes

52. to face pain

53. to be more open to love

54. to relate to children better

55. to do more, think less.

56. to know my true self

57. to see life from a new perspective

58. to integrate myself

59. to be less critical of others take in information clearly

61. to improve chakra flow

62. to face a challenge.

63. to become more disciplined.

64. to be less afraid.

65. to find peace with aging.

66. to accept the uncomfortable

67. to appreciate but not need pleasures see that others struggle.

69. to have no expectations

70. to let go of labels

71. to boost my immune system

72. to reduce depression

73. to develop more patience.

74. to maintain health dissolve cognitive precepts.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Scooter Decals

Below are some scooter decals I designed. They're magnets, and will hopefully stick to my scooter. I plan to make some stickers too!

Sunday, July 9, 2006

How To Fly

How to Fly
Stage 1
1. go to cheesy costume boutique
2. buy wings (see below)
3. choose waxy feathers well portioned to shoulders
4. choose white for angel; black for fallen angel
5. go home, take wings out of 'made in china' plastic bag
6. ignore fake plastic smell of feathers
7. place wings on shoulders & secure straps
8. adjust wings as needed; must be erect and square to shoulders
9. practice flying motion by slowly swaying arms and shoulders back & forth, in up & down motion
10. at this point you will hear magical, swooshy, fluttering sound

Stage 2
1. go outside & climb upon scooter
2. rev up motor & enact the usual adjustments
3. alter rear-view mirrors to prepare for flying position
4. slowly edge bike forward
5. make sure you have a clear path ahead of you (about 300 yards)
6. make sure it is a fairly cloudless, blue-sky day
7. gain speed gradually
8. as you do, slowly pump shoulders & arms in a billowly motion
(surprisingly, a pop-a-wheelie stunt is not required here)
9. pretty soon, you'll take off!


Our fearless pilot