Monday, April 30, 2007

Musket Takes One for the Team

Yesterday my beloved softball team SLAM played our first game(s) of the season. We participated in a one pitch tourney at Daisy field in J.P., and played 4 games. We were all charged up and hitting the ball like crazy. Despite the gray and cold weather, we were so happy the season had finally started!
In the second game I was way out in center field when a fly ball came my way. We were playing a B division team, (so the hits were flying) and this ball was soaring towards me like a rocket with flames coming off it. The ball was headed straight towards my glove..... I hardly had to move..... all I had to do was reach out......
I should have let instincts rule, but, alas, I thought too much & in the last millisecond I froze in fear......
The ball completely missed my glove and whacked me dead on in the most tender, sweetest, vulnerable, fleshy area of my right inner thigh. Yoooow-za! Triumph to tragedy!
Somehow still standing and breathing, I lopped the ball infield towards the direction of my teammate.
After the inning was over everyone was concerned for me, and offered ice and condolences etc.. But as soon as my teammates realized I wasn't dying, I became the butt of many a joke for the rest of the tourney. At one point someone suggested raffling off tickets, & the winner "could get to see Musket's wound." Ha. Ha. There were no takers.
Well, anyway, I didn't mind. We had a great day playing softball. Cheers, ladies!

((By the way, I later redeemed myself by catching two fly balls off some big hitters in another game. ))
Annotated notes: On the beloved softball team, the baron is called musket.
Below is a graphic shot of the egregious, festering wound..... It may not be CSI quality, but it's proof in the pudding...

Friday, April 27, 2007

Buttercup Ventures Into the Night

What's it like to ride the wild scoot at night???? Well, check it out....

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Put Me In Coach....

Yesterday was the second practice of the season for my beloved softball team SLAM. For those of you that don't know, SLAM is part of BAWL-- the Boston Alternative Women's League-- one of the oldest women's softball leagues in the country.
It was a spectacular, warm, sunny day! After a week of rain, grayness, and bitter cold-EVERYONE was out. ((So we did have to move our gear 3 TIMES to find an appropriate ball field.))

On our first field we were ousted by tiny little league players, thwarted by elderly golfers, and diverted by a group of 20 or so yipping, scrambling Boston terriers. (there must be a Boston Terrier owners meet.up group)
Still, we had our laughs and enjoyed ourselves. We did some tossing, fielding and relaying. Lots of fun. We also divided the team into "youngsters vs. oldsters" for a few of the exercises. This certainly brought plenty of snide comments. (The oldsters won every duel of course.)

Not our field of course; this is the field of dreams
On our second field we were surrounded by grunting, hooting males playing rugby & football. A former teammate and her wife brought along their baby for a visit. This temporarily diverted the gals from the serious business of practicing softball.
All in all, it was a great day. It has seemed like years since I've felt the sun beaming on my face, heard the crack of the bat & the slap of a ball hitting a mitt, or stepped in the muddy grass & the goose poop..... Oh well.
After practice we all went out to lunch and chit-chatted. I feel fortunate & privileged to be on such a fantastic team. You go girls!
Check out our games this season!

Friday, April 20, 2007

My Delusions of Grandeur

Below are my alter egos---- my delusions of grandeur.. Every once in awhile, I face up to the bitter reality.....
1. The Baron-
- Fearlessly rides into the night; will rescue damsels in distress; will cut off SUVS at untold speeds; will give the finger to the fuzz.

vs. Reality --Just a gal on a 150cc, unreliable scooter (a.k.a. blender on wheels). Antique helmet bought for 6.99 at Army/Navy store; plastic dracula cape bought at Brooks. At 35 mph the whole bike starts to shake.

2. Amish Man--Seeks to single-handedly thwart all modern devices that harm the environment or deflower the sanctity of the 'good old days.' Is pure & honest & good beyond reproach. No evil temptations can turn aside Amish Man.

vs. Reality-- Last minute Halloween costume circa 1996. Fake beard made out of cat toy. Indulges in evil temptations at the drop of a hat. There is no deeper meaning to Amish Man.

3. The Norwegian Goddess--Concocts magical potions; has the strength of ten burly men; avenges all evils inflicted upon women. Yodels with a deafening thunder.

vs. Reality--- Just a woman in a dumb hat; barely 25% true Norwegian blood; can barely throw a softball; sings opera badly in the shower.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Eye of the Tiger; It's the Thrill of the Fight

My friend J. has a few posts on his blog about formidable opponents. (See Mr. Mercurial, on the sidebar). He has links to queries about 'who would win?' in match-ups of mythical proportions. I understand on the Discovery Channel there's a show called "Animal Face-off" with computer animated & real duels. Who would win in the following battles? The Grizzly Bear vs. the Cougar, the Lion vs. the Hippo, the Walrus vs. the Polar Bear, The Gorilla vs. the Crocodile?
It's something I haven't given much thought to. I'm hopelessly non-competitive and squeamish about blood by nature.
But his postings got me thinking... Right Here in my very own apartment there are duels to the death going on as I write. After all, I live with two felines that have nothing but murder and mayhem on their minds. (pretty much 24 hours a day, except when they're napping & resting up for their next hunt) There isn't a thing in this apartment (including myself) that these two ferocious felines haven't bitten, scratched, torn apart, or eaten.
So.... who would win??? against my felines........

I put my kitties up against 3 formidable opponents, and video taped them in the act. Here are the results of three fights in the ring. (warning:may be too bloody for some viewers)
1. Kitty vs. Lederhosen Man--

Okay, he may have no arms or head, & he's wearing those faggy flowered shorts.... but he comes from a long line of German military pomp and stance.
Results: Lederhosen Man was quickly prodded, molested, & tossed aside.
2. Kitty Vs. Nunzilla

They say she's full or spitting fire & bitter spewing Catholicism.
Results: She showed some spunk early on but was summarily
knocked over...

3. Kitty vs. Slinky Dog

He may be floppy-earred & cute, but he's a canine after all....
Results: Toyed with, then kitty ran away. A win for the Slinky Dog...

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

What's Your Slanguage?

Your Slanguage Profile

New England Slang: 100%
Prison Slang: 50%
Aussie Slang: 25%
British Slang: 25%
Canadian Slang: 25%
Southern Slang: 25%

Take the quiz! ((Okay. So I've got to stop hanging out with convicts & New Englanders. Aussies and Canadians perhaps?))

Sunday, April 15, 2007

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

Farewell, Kurt Vonnegut.
My two favorite stories of his:
Welcome to The Monkey-House (1968) &

Slaughterhouse -Five (1969).

Friday, April 13, 2007

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Contrasting Worlds

Last night I attended a fundraiser for Teen Voices. Teen Voices is a feminist magazine for girls. It’s been publishing now for 16 years. It’s not just a magazine. The organization provides mentoring, workshops, and internships for girls of all walks of life. The girls write the magazine, so it’s really about what teen girls want to talk about.

The fundraiser was like many others. Delicious hors d’oeuvres. Wine. Chatting. Presentations and politicians speaking. There was also a live and silent auction. Additionally we had a fantastic view from the 36th floor of the State Street building!

Toward the end of the program, though, the most memorable and special part of the evening occurred. Seven teen girls got up and performed a poetry, rap slam.

It was awesome. The girls spoke with strong and vibrant voices about self-esteem, their futures, being comfortable in their bodies, older female mentors, and about feeling good about race and diversity. These are girls that will grow up to be positive women, contributing to our society.

Though Teen Voices is diverse, and helps all girls, it happened last night that all of the poetry slammers were African American girls.

As I watched them, I couldn’t help thinking of the contrast between their centeredness and positivity, and the ugly stereotypes plastered all over the media recently.

I’m speaking, of course, of Don Imus’ recent, blatantly racist and sexist, disrespectful comments. ((If you don't know... He called the Rutgers University Women's Basketball team "nappy-headed hos,' among some other comments. ))

Today Don Imus was fired, and that may provide some consolation. But the truth is that a world exists out there in this country where his comments are accepted, and found amusing and harmless.

I just feel fortunate and privileged, that last night I had the opportunity to see the reality. The contrast to Don Imus’ world of stereotypes. I got to see a glimpse of the lives of young, vibrant, strong, African American women.

Earlier I had posted an entry about Don Imus. I posted his picture and called him a "Farrah Fawcett hairdo-ed, spineless, cowboy pimp.” I decided to delete this entry because (though I intended it to be funny) it’s just name calling.

Perhaps Don Imus would defend himself by saying his comments were only meant to be funny too. He’s only using harmless words. But it’s a cheap shot—name calling. That’s what Don Imus did, and I don’t want to do the same.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


It doesn't seem that long ago (circa 1993/94)------- that every time I turned on the T.V., or went to a club, or listened to the radio----a spectacular, sassy, glimmering, colorful, 6' 4" drag queen named Ru Paul was bossing me around.
"You got to work it girl,"
"turn to the left,"
"turn to the right,"
"sashay, sashay,"
"Now prance, now prance"

Or course he wasn't really talking to me. (But it
felt so)

Check out the video. You go girl!

The Boy....................The Man................................The Drag Queen
the usual progression to manhood...

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Novel Quiz:Famous Opening Lines

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..... Can you name the opening lines of these famous novels? Take the Quiz..... I got 11/13. (I guess that English major finally paid off!!!!)

Friday, April 6, 2007

Yes, Farts Are Funny

Check out this clip. Guaranteed to make you chuckle....

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Furry Easter Bonnettes

My cats definitely need a good dose of Christianity to cease their evil ways. Just the other day they had murder on their minds, as they watched two cute morning doves frolicking in the driveway next door. By Jesus, my kitties were foaming at the mouth!
With Easter around the corner, I thought it pertinent to seek some sound Christian advice.
I found this article below. All you heathen, paganistic cat owners should read it.
Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?

The Onion

Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?

People often ask me when they should teach the Good News to their housecats. I have but one answer: "What are you waiting for?" A pet...

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Look Ma, We Made A Movie!

What an interesting experience I had this past Saturday! My friend Molly decided at the last minute to enter a film contest, The Boston Film Race.

Tonight we screened at the Brattle!!! Woo Woo.
Anyway, the 'race' was to conceive, script, shoot, and edit a film of 4 minutes or less in 12 hours. We assembled a motley crew. At 12 noon on Saturday, we got the theme (a rumor) and the surprise element (looking in a mirror).
The good news is we had loads of fun, learned a lot, and completed a film in 12 hours!
Our film is called "Friendly Neighborhood Militia."
Don't ask.Don't tell.

The bad news is we were competing against more experienced film students with better equipment.
But, I got to see my fat butt up on the big screen-- in a real movie theater-- not something most gals can say!
p.s --no horses were injured during the shooting of our film.

Monday, April 2, 2007

26 Things

26 Things is a 'meme' website. Every other month you are provided with a different list of 26 things. You are to submit 26 photos by the end of the month to representing your idea of each thing. The 26 things are random words.
For example, here's the list for March, 2007.
1. camera
2. fancy
3. smile
4. spots
5. curl
6. belly
7. take off
8. row
9. library
10. clutter
11. love
12. surprise
13. candid
14. button
15. apple
16. morning
17. beverage
18. square
19. plastic
20. home
21. sleep
22. great outdoors
23. fizz
24. family
25. glow
26. train
My friend LT and I embraced the challenge of photographing 26 things. Below are some sample photos. LT really enjoyed the experience (a photographer at heart). If you want to see our full entry, click on the Flickr badge on the sidebar called, "26 Things." Also see the 26 things website if you want to take the challenge yourself:



Sunday, April 1, 2007

Name That Screw

I can't think of a more exciting past time than a competitive, kick ass game of 'Name That Screw."
How do you fare?
1. Drywall screw _____?
2. Wing screw _______?
3. Flat head machine screw ___?
4. Hex head screw ______?
5. Decking screw ______?
6. Round Head wood screw ____?
7. Truss head shoulder screw ____?
a. .................................................b.

c. ............................................................d.

e. ......................................................................f.


answers: 1. drywall e 2. wing b 3. flat head machine a 4. hex head f 5. decking g
6. round wood d 7. truss shoulder c

Ride Captain, Ride!

It's spring, and buttercup (my scooter) is very, very happy!
If you dare, click on the video below, and EXPERIENCE what it's like to ride the wild scoot.

1. you must be at least 3 ft. tall to watch this video
2. no potholes were re-opened during the filming of
this video
3. do not watch this video after eating a large meal
& drinking lots of wine
4. No SUVs were flipped over during the filming of
this video.....
5. Evel Knievel was not available during the filming
of this video, so his stunt person/double, a.k.a. the baron,
was substituted...
6. the vital organs--such as lungs, liver, ovaries--of all
participants, were still intact during the filming of
this video

The Wilds of West Medford

Don't for a minute think that you have to scout the frozen tundra in Alaska, or prowl the grasslands in Africa to find a rare, wild, species!

Right here in the wilds of West Medford, my friend LT donned her crocodile dundee outfit, took her binoculars, camera, and Nalgene water bottle (filled with strawberry vitamin water), and bravely approached this creature.
She was able to snap this photograph as the wild animal was distracted by ripping an acorn to shreds!!! Crikey!!
Click on the photo to view this creature more closely...