1. The Baron-- Fearlessly rides into the night; will rescue damsels in distress; will cut off SUVS at untold speeds; will give the finger to the fuzz.
vs. Reality --Just a gal on a 150cc, unreliable scooter (a.k.a. blender on wheels). Antique helmet bought for 6.99 at Army/Navy store; plastic dracula cape bought at Brooks. At 35 mph the whole bike starts to shake.
2. Amish Man--Seeks to single-handedly thwart all modern devices that harm the environment or deflower the sanctity of the 'good old days.' Is pure & honest & good beyond reproach. No evil temptations can turn aside Amish Man.
vs. Reality-- Last minute Halloween costume circa 1996. Fake beard made out of cat toy. Indulges in evil temptations at the drop of a hat. There is no deeper meaning to Amish Man.
3. The Norwegian Goddess--Concocts magical potions; has the strength of ten burly men; avenges all evils inflicted upon women. Yodels with a deafening thunder.
vs. Reality--- Just a woman in a dumb hat; barely 25% true Norwegian blood; can barely throw a softball; sings opera badly in the shower.
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