Eye of the Tiger; It's the Thrill of the Fight

My friend J. has a few posts on his blog about formidable opponents. (See Mr. Mercurial, on the sidebar). He has links to queries about 'who would win?' in match-ups of mythical proportions. I understand on the Discovery Channel there's a show called "Animal Face-off" with computer animated & real duels. Who would win in the following battles? The Grizzly Bear vs. the Cougar, the Lion vs. the Hippo, the Walrus vs. the Polar Bear, The Gorilla vs. the Crocodile?
It's something I haven't given much thought to. I'm hopelessly non-competitive and squeamish about blood by nature.
But his postings got me thinking... Right Here in my very own apartment there are duels to the death going on as I write. After all, I live with two felines that have nothing but murder and mayhem on their minds. (pretty much 24 hours a day, except when they're napping & resting up for their next hunt) There isn't a thing in this apartment (including myself) that these two ferocious felines haven't bitten, scratched, torn apart, or eaten.
So.... who would win??? against my felines........
I put my kitties up against 3 formidable opponents, and video taped them in the act. Here are the results of three fights in the ring. (warning:may be too bloody for some viewers)
1. Kitty vs. Lederhosen Man--

Okay, he may have no arms or head, & he's wearing those faggy flowered shorts.... but he comes from a long line of German military pomp and stance.
Results: Lederhosen Man was quickly prodded, molested, & tossed aside.
2. Kitty Vs. Nunzilla

They say she's full or spitting fire & bitter spewing Catholicism.
Results: She showed some spunk early on but was summarily
knocked over...

3. Kitty vs. Slinky Dog

He may be floppy-earred & cute, but he's a canine after all....
Results: Toyed with, then kitty ran away. A win for the Slinky Dog...