I say we bring back the ball and chain for punishment of petty, yet daily, perpetually irritating offenses. Until the 1920's inmates at Sing Sing prison actually wore a ball and chain to thwart their ability to escape. How about a ball and chain (okay, a small one) to punish evildoers with plain old inconvenience and embarrassment?
A list of Qualifying Offenses.
1. Construction workers saying rude things to teenage girls
2. SUV drivers cutting off smaller cars
3. selling stale bagels
4. taking two parking spots on a busy city street
5. telling white lies to significant other about whereabouts
6. letting dog poop on neighbor's lawn
7. running over a squirrel purposely
8. chewing gum loudly
9. too much (or too little) mustard on hot dog
10. double dipping
That'll learn em!
Just think of the daily activities, pursuits, or hobbies that would be awkward, inconvenient, deathly embarrassing, or even dangerous when shackled to a ball and chain......
1. riding a bike
2. taking a shower (the ball & chain might rust & stick to tub)
3. going up & down wooden stairs
4. running for the bus
5. skydiving
6. going to the bathroom in a public stall
7. bungy jumping
8. water aerobics
9. salsa dancing class
10. going on a first date
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