Weekend UpDate

Weekend Update
This just in....
SCIENTISTS UNVEIL NEANDERTHALS' DNA CODE

THE ANARCHY TIMES POST-POST
A team of American and German geneticists announced this week that the Neaanderthals' DNA code will be completely mapped within two years. If the project is successful, questions long plaguing the scientific community and the world will soon be definitively answered:

1. How long ago did the Neanderthals separate from the human line? and

2. (the sexy question) Did the Neanderthals and modern humans (Cro-Magnon) intermingle?

Only 2% of the DNA sample has been mapped so far, but oddly enough, geneticists have already identified marked and striking similarities between the Neanderthal DNA and the DNA of certain Republicans from Texas. Amazing, glaring, shared traits are as follows:

1. over-barbecues meats
2. inflexible thinking
3. resorts to gestures rather than speech
4. may grab crotch in public
5. difficulty speaking in complete sentences
6. uses violent force rather than negotiation
7. over-exploits the environment
8. underdeveloped arts ability or appreciation
9. furrows brow when puzzled
10. slightly bowlegged and crouched over when walking
11. carries a big club, but has a small brain

Please note specimen below: