God Relinquishes Control of Weather

AP Press-- God, citing overwork and disgust with complaining humans, has decided to relinquish control of the weather in varied regions of the globe. Instead, he will randomly put control of the weather squarely on the shoulders of ordinary people.

While at first seeming like a nifty idea, weather experts and world leaders are becoming increasingly concerned over this new development. It seems that ordinary humans are just not cut out to manage heavenly tasks of majestic proportions.

Attempts to negotiate with God have failed. Over and over, God has mentioned being tired of jokes like, "the angels must be bowling in heaven" during thunderstorms. God lamented: "Humans just do not appreciate the miraculous wonder of an intricately planned thunderstorm."

Miriam at Press time.....
So far several ordinary humans of varied ages and creeds have been chosen to control the weather. Meteorologists have cited mixed results, as some people receive little information on the region they are supposed to control. Miriam Beasley, of Quinlow, Texas, for example, suddenly found herself in control of the weather in Bulgaria. With no special knowledge concerning Bulgaria, she simply made it sunny and 70 degrees day after day. "I thought the Bulgarians might like living like Southern Californians for a change," she chuckled.

Apparently this well-intentioned plan backfired, as the Bulgarian ambassador Petkov Poptodorova quickly informed the U.S. ambassador that several potato crops had failed that season in Bulgaria. In fact Bulgarians everywhere in Bulgaria were ticked off. One farmer snapped, "If I wanted to live in Southern California, I'd move there. Pompous Americans."

Jackson Pullrow, an unemployed 33 year old living in Vermont, received a detailed telegram from God, specifying control of Palo Alto, California for 90 days. "That's a no brainer!" he exclaimed. "The weather's pretty much the same everyday!" In fact, Jackson frequently spent time surfing the net, comparing how wonderful weather was in California in comparison to Vermont. Jackson's ex-girlfriend had moved there to be with her new boyfriend two months prior.

Despite detailed instructions from God himself, Mr. Pullrow just couldn't resist seeking sweet revenge on his ex-girlfriend, by making the weather in Palo Alto, California cold, cloudy, and rainy for days on end. He even threw in some snow and hailstones. This weather condition had not occurred in the Palo Alto region for five decades, and meteorologists and residents were panicking. Meanwhile smiling Vermonters were enjoying an unseasonably warm October.

For a time Jackson's plan worked. The next day his ex-girlfriend wrote on her Facebook profile, "It totally sucks not going surfing everyday with Chad!" She was clearly deeply distressed. Mr. Pullrow's evil pleasure was short-lived, however, when he saw on the news that winemakers in California were losing millions due to failed crops and lack of tourists. Also, a couple of busloads of children were pitched over the road into the raging Pacific due to wash outs. Suddenly, Mr. Pullrow realized the awesomeness of his responsibility. "I saw that the weather wasn't just all about me. I didn't want any kids to die."

At a global conference last week, world leaders and weather pattern experts began drafting an apologetic letter to God, citing the numerous, failed, humble attempts of humans to control weather. The letter outlines how humans are too self-absorbed, and lack the knowledge and foresight to control weather like the great man in the sky does. World leaders have also written how human control over weather has spiraled into mayhem. Just last week a six year old from London was in total control of East Africa for ten days. East Africans of all walks of life were acutely distressed by having cotton candy and gum drops fall from the sky, followed by a huge front of licorice jelly beans.

Language Death

Last night in my class, we were discussing language death. Linguists estimate there are about 6,000 languages spoken in the world today, but that within 200 years or so the number of languages will be reduced to 200.

This is a tragic loss for humanity, as we know each language has its unique vocabulary, expressions, and words to convey thoughts. As any speaker of any language knows, there are certain unique phrases that cannot quite be translated into another language. For example, something subtle is lost if Shakespeare is not in English, and Madame Bovary not in French. Call it the voice of that language.

Not that French or English are in any danger of extinction. Endangered languages mostly consist of indigenous languages, spoken by geographically isolated peoples, tribes, or small villages. In a world of vast globalization and urbanization, these languages are being stamped out.

There are four conditions which can cause language death. Language death means that no where in the world does a L1 (first language) speaker of that certain language exist. (Of course written languages are distinguishable, as we have ancient Latin or Sanskrit texts, but no speakers. )

1. Language death due to genocide.
2. Language death due to language shift.
3. Language death without language shift.
4. Nominal language death through language metamorphosis.

The most common conditions of language death are due to language shift, and language death without language shift. An example of language death with language shift (eventual replacement of another language) happens quite a bit in Africa. People of a small tribe move to a large city, and eventually learn the lingua franca of the region. Over time they no longer speak their home language, and the people in their old village die off or move.

An example of language death without language shift is the case of Chief Marie Smith Jones of the Eyak tribe in Alaska. When she passed away in 2008, she was the last L1 speaker of Eyak. Though her children and others may know some words and phrases of the language, Eyak is not their dominant or first language.

Often language death can be traced to a number of factors. Hundreds of American Indian tribal languages have been lost, due to a combination of genocide and language shift. After decimation of their tribe, the few remaining tribal members moved to reservations and eventually learned English. Over time their native languages were lost.

An example of language death due to language metamorphosis is Latin. Though folks say it is a 'dead' language, in fact many spoken words of Spanish, Portuguese, French, & Italian are Latin words. Latin survived in a sense, but morphed into several related Romance languages.

What can linguists do about language death? It is a very difficult problem. Often documentation of the language is the only recourse. However, there is a project underway called Enduring Voices through National Geographic. Linguists have identified several hot spots in the world.

Occasionally language revitalization is possible. A couple of examples are Yiddish, Hebrew, and Gaelic. Out of the three, Hebrew is considered by linguists to be the only true case of fully successful language revitalization. Some disagree that Yiddish and Gaelic are truly revitalized, and are dying languages. Hopefully not. "Conaionn tu saor no basaigh"

Mt. Monadnock, NH

Just came back from an adventurous & fun weekend camping out at Mt. Monadnock State Park, in Jaffrey, NH. On Friday night I arrived after getting a bit lost, to find my friends (Kathy & Beth, Chris & Kerri, & Ben) already set up and just coming back from a hike. I joined them at their campsite, after setting up my tent, and ate dinner. I tried my new, one-grill propane stove! It worked like a charm. Following this I was treated to a cherry/chocolate birthday mountain pie! It was delicious!

On Saturday morning we all got up and started up Mt. Monadnock (elevation-3,165 ft). Apparently, this mountain is the most hiked mountain in the world, other than Mt. Fuji. The White Dot trail is the route most folks take, so we decided to go elsewhere to avoid the crowds. We started up the Parker trail, then connected to the Cliff Walk trail. It was a beautiful hike, with lots of varied vegetation and panoramic views. The weather was cloudy at times but mostly sunny with a fair temperature. The trail was not as well marked, however, so we veered off course a few times. ------------------------------------> Kathy, Beth, Kerri, Chris, Ben, Carolyn

The hike turned out to be longer than expected, as is usually the case with mountains. After the Cliff Rock trail we ended up at Bald Rock, a huge open rocky area, which was a great view, but not the summit. Despite injuries and fatigue in our party, we continued on to the top of Mt. Monadnock, since we had gone so far. (Chris & Kerri decided to turn back)

The summit was crowded with people, and very windy. I thought it was interesting to read all the carved initials in the rocks. I found B.M.V., 1816, and W.W., 1901, and R.H. & B.T., July 4, 1975. The views from Mt. Monadnock apparently span 100 miles in all directions. On a clear day (it was fairly clear) lore has it that you can see all the New England states. Of course it's difficult to know exactly what you're looking at. A G.P.S. system might have been helpful.
After our summit we headed down. We foolishly took the White Cross trail, which turned out to be a nightmarish descent. Kathy's knee was bothering her, and she had to go slow. The White Cross trail is a river of rocks, going down very steeply. It's also a long trail. Finally, we connected with the White Dot trail after about two hours, and quickly made our way back to camp.

We were all tired, but felt like a satisfying adventure was under our belt! Today I feel a little sore but quite refreshed!
Ben conquers the mountain <-------------------







Beth and I scouting the path ---------------------------->








Photos by K. Sunderland

Count Your Blessings, Baron

Once again, I'm writing as a matter of sanity and survival. I will now count my blessings, which are many. It's good for me to take stock and not focus on the negative.
Blessings
1. I have an intelligent, healthy nephew named Zack, who's 8.
2. I have an intelligent, healthy niece named Natalie, who's 5.
3. I have an intelligent, healthy, and very funny nephew named Gavin, who's 6.
4. Both of my parents are in their 70's, and are together and healthy.
5. I have two wonderful sisters Janet and Jen.
6. I have two great brother-in-laws, Marty and Dave.
7. I own a condo.
8. I have a stable and satisfying job, where I help others.
9. I've been on the same fantastic softball team for 7 years.
10. I am able bodied.
11. I can read and write.
12. I had two great grandmothers.
13. I have friends that love me, or at least like me alright.
14. I have a very wide-ranging sense of humor.
15. I'm fairly intelligent.
16. I look ten years younger than my age.
17. I have 3 aunts and one uncle.
18. I have two kitties and lots of birdies outside my window.
19. I have a scooter I love to ride.
20. I have had the opportunity to do some traveling.

As Near As To Heaven As By Sea

My sister Jennifer and her husband Dave scurried off to St. John's this past week. Though off season there (big bugs & humidity), they couldn't have picked a better week. Who would guess what a dull nightmare June has turned out to be in Boston? Supposedly, we'll get some relief this weekend.

Anyway, she went scuba diving everyday, & saw enough lizards to open up her own pet store. Iguanas, geckos, and anoles, I guess. The good thing is, the lizards eat the bugs. (Except iguanas eat leaves). I say eat away, reptiles! I would have freaked to see a gigantic millipede or cockroach.

Under the sea she saw an old sea turtle, a stingray, a puffer fish, a parrot fish, a tarpon, & a needlefish. Cool.

Can you see me now? A needlefish & a six foot tarpon.
By the way, Happy Birthday J.A.T.!

Congratulations M. Kulig!

Yesterday my good friend Melissa Kulig graduated from the Art Institute of Boston, with a M.A. in Art. What a triumph. Not only did she graduate with a fantastic display of work, but she also got special recognition from the faculty as the student most improved throughout the program (a small scholarship).

Melissa's family was present (Mom, Dad, Brother Chris, Aunt Elizabeth, Great Uncle Larry), as was her faithful friends the Baron (me) and Jonathan (a.k.a. Johnnie Darko). I do not have a camera these days, so I have no live pictures. (Lame, I know) But included is a postcard of one of her major works (and my favorite). To check out Melissa's work further, go to her blog: http://www.mixedmediamaven.blogspot.com/

The King of Pop

The recent death of Michael Jackson was shocking to me, & I'm more upset than I imagined I'd be. Even though I always thought something tragic would happen to him eventually, I still find myself sad. Just last week I thought: "Haven't heard much about him lately. He's probably not going to make it much longer."

I've never really been a fan of 'pop' anything. I never owned a Michael Jackson album, glittery glove, or had a poster in my room. But I'm still very saddened, because I realize that Michael Jackson's music has been there my whole life. From his 'ABC' 'I'll Be There' Jackson 5 days, through the 80's and 90's, his music paralleled the milestones and 'eras' of my own life. From the late 60's through the early 90's, those were my growing up years too. It makes me nostalgic.

I didn't like all Michael Jackson's music, but there are a few songs that stand out in concert with events in my life. I remember "Rock With You" at a junior high school dance, and "Beat it" and "Billie Jean" in my second year of college. The 'Thriller" video was my favorite of his, (it's hard to imagine it was made in 1983) & I recall watching it on MTV with my sister. Here's Michael Jackson at his best. One of my favorite songs is "Human Nature."

Michael Jackson - Thriller | Music Videos | SPIKE.com

Michael with Diana Ross

Cleaning Out the Rafters

I helped my friend Steph in her attic yesterday. I painted while she went through boxes and purged. I don't know if I was much help when I kept saying, every 10 minutes, "Oh, you've got to keep that." Two of the items for keeping included the following, a Cordomatic Clothesline Reel from the 50's, 60's, and a Sheffield cigar/flask holder.

We weren't quite sure what the cigar holder was at first. It's clearly marked, "Sheffield, England," and it has a nifty Celtic design on the outer shell. After some research, I determined it's probably made of pewter, and the flask is made for a nip of brandy. In the other compartment you put your jumbo cigar. In comparison to others I saw on EBay and other auction sites, my friend's cigar holder might be worth about 165.00. Many of the cigar holders featured did not have the flask, or the Celtic design.

The Cordomatic Clothesline is certainly something Steph will use everyday, as she will the cigar holder.

Seriously, what I loved about the clothesline was its pristine condition, and its quality. It is made of very solid materials, something you'd never see for a similar item today. It's also this retro turquoise, very 50's.

Mozart's Seranade For Winds

I'm turning to classical music, these days, as a matter of sanity and survival.

I've Heard the Mermaids Singing, Each to Each

What would life be without opera and classical music? At least that's what I think. Classical music is the experience that I need to ground myself. It makes me feel there's continuity to life, that the past is present, and that all sentient beings are connected. It makes me feel that I'm not alone in my dreaminess, and that there's something bigger than me that I'm part of. Classical music nears or is perfection. It gives me hope that art can transcend the mundane. Here's "The Flower Duet," from "Lakme," by Delibes. It's a love song between two women.

Couch to 5K

I'm going to attempt to begin running again. Though I am a bit worried about my knees and shin splints, I'm going to try anyway. Here's one of the many plans suggested.

Phase I Walk/Run Month 1 Mostly Walking (Times in minutes per day)
Week	M	T	W	TH	F	S	S	TOTAL
1	Off	25/0	Off	30/0	Off	Off	30/0	85/0
2	Off	27/3	Off	27/3	Off	Off	27/3	81/9
3	Off	24/6	Off	24/6	Off	Off	24/6	72/18
4	Off	27/3	Off	24/6	Off	Off	24/6	75/15
Grand total: 313/42

Phase - II Walk/Run Month 2 Mostly Walking (Times in minutes per day)
Week	M	T	W	TH	F	S	S	TOTAL
1	Off	21/9	Off	21/9	Off	Off	21/9	63/27
2	Off	18/12	Off	18/12	Off	Off	18/12	54/36
3	Off	15/15	Off	15/15	Off	Off	15/15	45/45
4	Off	18/12	Off	15/15	Off	Off	15/15	48/42
Grand Total: 210/150

Phase - III Walk/Run Month 3 Mostly Running (Times in minutes per day)
Week	M	T	W	TH	F	S	S	TOTAL
1	Off	12/18	Off	12/18	Off	Off	12/18	36/54
2	Off	9/21	Off	9/21	Off	Off	9/21	27/63
3	Off	6/24	Off	6/24	Off	Off	6/24	18/72
4	Off	9/21	Off	6/24	Off	Off	6/24	21/69
Grand Total: 102/258

Phase - IV Run Month 4 All Running (Times in minutes per day)
Week	M	T	W	TH	F	S	S	TOTAL
1	Off	15	Off	15	Off	Off	20	50
2	Off	20	Off	20	Off	Off	20	60
3	Off	20	Off	25	Off	Off	25	70
4	Off	25	Off	25	Off	Off	30	80
Grand Total: 260

The Wilds of Stoneham, Ma

I installed a bird feeder on my back porch yesterday. At first no birds were visiting. This morning, however, much to the my delight ( & my cats'), a tufted titmouse and a wren of some kind landed to feed. A squirrel also came along, but was unable to get up on the bird feeder. Supposedly, my bird feeder is squirrel-proof. We'll see.



Some later visitors included a male & female Northern Cardinal.....
Also, a Common Grackle....

My 50 Things

My 50 Things is a fun website, where you list goals and achievements in your lifetime. Here are some of my 'to do' goals, and below is a list of what I achieved. I don't exactly have 50 things altogether, but I'd rather list things I think I realistically will achieve. Seeing the Great Wall of China? I'd love to, but going to China right now seems out of reach. I don't know why.

To see the Grand Canyon
Visit Greenland, Iceland
Own a hybrid or electric car
To visit Western Canada
To hike the Long Trail in Vermont
To do a civil war reenactment in a large venue
take course in Norwegian
read Walden Pond
Teach an adult to read
Run the Boston Marathon
Try dog sledding
Shoot a gun on a shooting range
take a backpacking class
Exercise at least twice a week
Spend one evening a week without watching TV or using a PC
Visit Stonehenge

Do a parachute jump Completed
Plant a tree Completed
Wear a tux Completed
Complete a bookmaking/scrapbooking project Completed
Take a fiddle class or lessons Completed
Buy a condo or townhouse Completed
Visit Kripalu Completed
To complete a second cartoon zine Completed
To go square or contra dancing Completed
To meditate everyday for 21 days Completed
To try Tai Chi Completed
To take a fencing class Completed
Play golf one time Completed
Send mother flowers Completed
get a motorcycle license Completed
put some potted plants on porch Completed
see Grand Canyon Completed
shoot a gun on a shooting range Completed

My Five Favorite Natural Places in New England

My Five Favorite Natural Places in New England
Of course there are many other choices for natural places in New England. There are also many places I haven't been. Still, here are my consistent favorites, and some of the places I've visited many times.
1. The White Mountains, NH
(atop Mt. Carter with my sisters & brother-in-law)

2. Walden Pond, Concord, MA


3. Ipswich River Wildlife Sanctuary, Topsfield, MA

4. Baxter State Park, ME


5. Crane's Beach, Ipswich, MA

Distortion Contortion

Had a bit of fun in a 'fun' mirror. Who says adults can't play? My friend Asia took these pictures of me.

Come up and see me sometime.......

My grandmother, not surprisingly, loved Mae West. (She enjoyed that crass, bawdy humor). In honor of this great woman, I've compiled some of Mae West's amusing well known and not so well known quotes. My grandmother often quoted them to me.

"The curve is more powerful than the sword."

"A girl in a convertible is worth 5 in the phone book."

"Give a man a free hand, and he'll run it all over you."

"Any time you've got nothing to do, and lots of time to do it, come on up."

"When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better."

"Why don't you come up sometime, and see me?"

"A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up."

"To err is human, but it feels divine."

"A man in the house is worth two in the street."

"I believe it's better to be looked over than overlooked."

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."

"It's not the men in my life that count, but the life in my men."

"Ten men waiting at the door? Send one home. I'm tired."

"Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

Bessie Smith

I saw a short movie the other night at a film festival, featuring Bessie Smith. I've heard of Bessie Smith, but never really listened to any of her music. (Shame!) We're going back a long time when we speak of Bessie Smith. She was popular during the 1920's and early 1930's.

Bessie Smith, "The Empress of the Blues,"was born circa 1894 in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She had several older siblings. One of her older brothers, in 1912, managed to use his influence to allow Bessie to join the Stokes Troupe. Ma Rainey, another blues singer, was featured in this troupe. Originally, Bessie joined as a dancer (similar to Ella Fitzgerald's story), and later was discovered as a singer.

Some of Bessie's well known hits included "Downhearted Blues," and "St. Louis Blues." Pretty much all the songs are about broken hearts and lost love.

Lore has it that Bessie Smith was bisexual, having affairs with both men and women throughout her life. Unfortunately, she lived a short life. In 1937, she was in a serious car accident, and died a few days later.

Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out (1923)
http://www.africanafrican.com/negroartist/mp3/bessie%20smith/448470830.mp3