Julie's Doppelganger- Kitty Lane

My friend Julie's alter ego is a fabulous drag queen named Kitty Lane. She emerged quite suddenly at a rockin butch/femme in 1999, then disappeared. She is fondly remembered by all. Below are a few of Kitty's famous quotes:

• the more cramped the toes, the better the shoes!
• save up for liposuction honey, you'll need it!
• cock-tails anyone?
• Yes, that is my tight little ass, and it's real!!
• donate your hair for a wig: help a drag queen!
  
• it ain't over until the fat, hairy queen starts singing...
• every girl deserves her 15 minutes of fame!
• happiness is a diamond tiara!
• taffeta darling, taffeta!!
• SNAP!
• I have a deep voice? What about Maude??
• Darling, I deal my own deck...

Here's our Kitty below, on the right.....

Weekend UpDate

Weekend Update
This just in....
SCIENTISTS UNVEIL NEANDERTHALS' DNA CODE

THE ANARCHY TIMES POST-POST
A team of American and German geneticists announced this week that the Neaanderthals' DNA code will be completely mapped within two years. If the project is successful, questions long plaguing the scientific community and the world will soon be definitively answered:

1. How long ago did the Neanderthals separate from the human line? and

2. (the sexy question) Did the Neanderthals and modern humans (Cro-Magnon) intermingle?

Only 2% of the DNA sample has been mapped so far, but oddly enough, geneticists have already identified marked and striking similarities between the Neanderthal DNA and the DNA of certain Republicans from Texas. Amazing, glaring, shared traits are as follows:

1. over-barbecues meats
2. inflexible thinking
3. resorts to gestures rather than speech
4. may grab crotch in public
5. difficulty speaking in complete sentences
6. uses violent force rather than negotiation
7. over-exploits the environment
8. underdeveloped arts ability or appreciation
9. furrows brow when puzzled
10. slightly bowlegged and crouched over when walking
11. carries a big club, but has a small brain

Please note specimen below:

Oh My God, Like, How Gay Are You?

HOW GAY AM I?
Well, that's a burning question that's bugged me for awhile. How Gay am I? Can I hang curtains? Do I know all the lyrics to South Pacific? Do I wear tighty whities?

Or, would I rather oil my wrench set? Paint my fingernails?

All these queries an be EASILY answered by taking this short, yet incredibly scientifically sound, informative quiz:
Find out just how gay you are with the Channel 4 Gay-O-Meter http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/G/gayometer/gayometer.html
BTW, I'm 46% gay, which makes me a well-adjusted, lesbian babe. Go figure.

It Could Be Worse!

We know, it's bad...

But listen to the wise, little, Jewish, Man.
"It Could Be Worse!!

• the wrong kidney could have been removed in that painful operation!
• Jesus could really be coming!
• George Bush could be your super friendly, frequently visiting, knee slapping neighbor!
• You could have mistakenly gotten the white powdered doughnut instead of the chocolate sprinkle!
• that heavy rain could continue for 40 days, in a biblical way even!

Pick your favorite:

5 Ideas of Hell

5 ideas of HELL

So they say, one woman's heaven might be another woman's hell.

And that's the way of the world.

Below are a few ideas that, in my little world, would be considered

sizzling, flaming, all out scorching hell:

1. Bush- Cheney '08

2. Driving around in a Ford WindStar

3. Finding myself at a 3 hour Neil Diamond concert

4. living in the burbs somewhere in the middle of Utah

5. perpetual dentist appointments

all five at once=instant death

Tribute to 5 Phenomenal Actresses

Five Phenomenal Actresses and Their Roles

1. Frances McDormand
as Marge Gunderson in Fargo (1996)

2. Lili Taylor
as Valerie Jean Solanas in I Shot Andy Warhol (1996)

3. Shirley MacLaine
as Martha Dobie in The Children's Hour (1961)

4. Helen Mirren
as DCI Jane Tennison in Prime Suspect (1991 T.V.)

5. Geraldine Page
as Mrs. Carrie Watts in Trip To Bountiful (1985)

The Five Pez Dispensers That Should Rule the Planet

PEZ DISPENSERS

Okay, so I know they’re only cartoon heads propped up on top of plastic sticks filled with candy, BUT, some people collect them, some people see deep meaning in them. Some people think they're fun.

SO.....

IF five pez dispensers were to rule the world, here are my choices, with a few sound reasons why these five characters would serve our planet well.

1. Miss Piggy– can serve on the intra/inter species committee. Has some experience flying space ships. Loved a frog that was not a prince.
2. Lucy- will provide minimal cost ($1 hour) mental health counseling (albeit substandard) to all. Bossy when required. Will serve as ‘the brains behind the operation.’ Liked a quiet boy who loved jazz & Chopin.
3. Wonder Woman- will deflect asteroids, nuclear bombs, & other paraphernalia flying thru space. Will kick the butts of unsavory world leaders as necessary. Is way hot & fun to look at.
4. Hello Kitty- Is cute, amusing, & generally fun for all children and many adults. Simply makes people happy.
5. Princess Leia --has experience dealing with inter-galactic beings. Can fly various spacecrafts competently. Wears white all year & looks good. Is way hot (although in a dated way).

See our fair maidens below.

Procrastination Condemnation

Procrastination: If you are guilty...

I finally got around to writing this…. (ha,ha)

Seriously, if you are a procrastinator, (like me), never fear! There are many excellent self-help books published with practical tips for the wayward. A few on my bookshelf include:

Time Management From the Inside Out, by Julie Morgenstern,

It’s About Time: the Six Styles of Procrastination & How To Overcome Them, by Dr. Linda Sapadin.

Overcoming Procrastination, by Albert Ellis & W. Knaus.

The Procrastination Workbook: Your Personalized Program for Breaking Free from the Patterns That Hold You Back, by W. Knaus.

If you can’t manage thumbing through a book, then you can take an online quiz to find out what type of procrastinator you are. http://www.drsapadin.com/quiz/quiz_time.phpAre you a pleasure seeker? A perfectionist? Are you anti-authoritative? Are you dreamy & inattentive? Are you an over-achiever?These are all excellent questions to pinpoint your particular procrastination demons.

Even with the books, quizzes, or kicks in the butt from Mama or the Boss, you may still find the plague of procrastination dogging you. So, here are my tips to change your thinking about procrastination. There’s no point in feeling guilty or stressed!!! Use these thoughts as armor to guard yourself against despair. Sooooo sit back, re-watch that re-run episode of Law & Order, and eat that popcorn…

1. Think of all the famously great people who were also procrastinators. Look at Proust for example. It took him years to write “The Remembrance of Things Past,” and most of the time he was lying in bed!
2. Think to yourself: “I could be dead tomorrow, so at least today I’m not wasting time doing boring tasks like going to the bank, sorting laundry, etc…. I’m having fun!”
3. Think of the Buddha. He certainly was a great person. No one can argue against that!. And he spent hours, weeks even sitting under a Bodhi tree not doing much of anything!
4.Think to yourself: “There’s always tomorrow! And tomorrow! And tomorrow! And it’s always a day away. (Thank god)
6. Think to yourself: “I’m not procrastinating. I’m just waiting for more creative and brilliant ideas to take root.”

Check out my own 'Did You?' procrastination cartoon below....

A Tribute To Ziggy Stardust

During the 70's and 80's David Bowie was in the backdrop of my consciousness, but I was never really a fan at that time . Now I appreciate the man tremendously, especially for his early work, and his uniqueness. Below are the lyrics to one of my favorite Bowie songs, and a few pics. Also check out the link to the 1980 'Ashes To Ashes' music video! Very dated.

Ashes To Ashes
by David Bowie -1980

do you remember a guy that's been
in such an early song
i heard a rumour from ground control
oh no, don't say it's true
they got a message from the action man
i'm happy hope you're happy too
i've loved all i've needed love
sordid details following

the shrieking of nothing is killing
just pictures of jap girls in synthesis
and i ain't got no money and and i ain't got no hair
but i'm hoping to kick but the planet is glowing aglow aglow
ashes to ashes funk to funky
we know major tom's a junky
strung out on heaven's high
hitting an all time low
time and again i tell myself
i'll stay clean tonight
but the little green wheels are following me
oh no not again
i'm stuck with a valuable friend
i'm happy hope you're happy too
one flash of light
but no smoking pistol
i've never done good things
i've never done bad things
i never did anything out of the blue
want an axe to break the ice
want to come down right now

ashes to ashes funk to funky
we know major tom's a junky
strung out on heaven's high
hitting an all time low

my mama said to get things done
you better not mess with major tom
my mama said to get things done
you better not mess with major tom
my mama said to get things done
you better not mess with major tom

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1541951936410297907&q=ashes+to+ashes+david+bowie&hl=en

The Mirror Project

Just when you thought you've seen quite enough of yourself, along comes the Mirror Project. Actually it's a very interesting & clever idea. It's a website where you submit photographs of yourself taken on a reflective surface. I thought of 3 pictures I took years (1989-90) ago. See below. (check out my geeky glasses circa 1989) If you'd like to check out the Mirror Project, follow this link:

www.mirrorproject.com

Adventuresome Heroes/ Heroines

A. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain
B. Helge Ingstad
C. Ernest Shackleton
D. Ameila Earhart
E. Sir Edmund Hillary & Tenzing Norgay
F. Anne Bacroft & Liv Arnsen



Match 'Em Up (because of the gender factor & pictures--it's kind of a no-brainer)
1. First Woman to fly the Atlantic
2. Civil War Hero
3. First to climb Mt. Everest
4. First women to cross Antarctica
5. First to cross Antarctica
6. Discovered Viking settlement in Canada

Answers: A 2. B 6. C 5. D 1. E 3. F 4

What Type of American English Do YOU SPeak?

Okay. So I took the "What Type of American English Do You Speak?" quiz. Surprise. Surprise. I'm mostly a Yankee. Still, I think I'd be more of a Yankee if there was another choice on one question. "Soda" is "tonic" to any TRUE Bostonian.

I would like to know what that 5% Dixie is all about.

***My Linguistic Profile:***

45% Yankee

30% General American English

15% Upper MidWestern

5% Dixie

0% Midwestern

Take the quiz for yourself:

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofamericanenglishdoyouspeakquiz/

Stupid Pet Tricks

Bold Acts my kittens have committed:

• used my plants as a litterbox
• bit, licked, then ate my medication
• attacked my thighs
  
• chewed up important mail
• drank beer
  
• jumped on my head while I was napping

They're bad. REAL BAD.

What's your Myers Briggs Personality Type?

Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator? Though one should take any personality theory with a grain of salt, I do consistently 'type' as an INFJ. This stands for Introverted--Intuitive--Feeling--Judgmental. There are very few of us in the world (2%). Unfortunately, they say. Some folks that share my type:Gandhi, Jane Goodall, Carl Jung, Emily Bronte, Emily Dickinson, Jimmy Carter, & Sydney Poiterier. Fine company indeed. On some online tests you get a percentage. For example, one can be a strong extrovert (70%) as opposed to a slight extrovert (20%). In Keirsy tests, I am also the Counselor Idealist. There are Idealists--Healers, Champions, Counselors, Teachers, Rationalists--Masterminds, Inventors & Architects, Artisans, Crafters, Performers, Promoters, & Composers, & the Guardians -Inspectors, Protectors, Supervisors, & Providers.
Thanks be to the universe that there are all types in the world. If you can't do it, somebody else can add up those numbers, develop that policy, calm that screaming brat, or tend to those grossly injured. Take the test:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

Some characteristics of the INFJ:

• value personal integrity and "being true to yourself"
• are on a lifelong search for a unique identity and meaning
• may find it easier to express their deepest feelings in writing
  
• abhor evil or injustice, especially that directed towards the innocent or helpless
• are sometimes looked upon by others as naive, mostly due to our idealism
• enjoy thoughtful discussion but dislike arguing for argument's sake, as this often degenerates into ugly conflict
• are bookworms, love bookstores and libraries
• get stressed and cannot survive for extended periods without company
• rarely get into conflict, but when it erupts, can be very bitter
• aren't terribly career-minded
• love personality tests and other self-improvement tools
  
• love quotes and theories and are often philosophers
• need to confide in others and express opinions and feelings about others.
• are "Directors" who give advice, though usually more subtly than most other Directors.
• Mute withdrawal is a major INFJ defense.
• sensitive
• great depth of personality - intricately and deeply woven, mysterious, and highly complex, sometimes puzzling even themselves
• introverted
• abstract in communicating
• live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities - part of an unusually rich inner life
• artistic (and natural affinity for art), creative, and easily inspired
• very independent
• gentle
  
  

Political Heroes, Heroines

Political Heroes & Heroines

1. Eleanor Roosevelt
2. Abraham Lincoln

3. Martin Luther King
4. Harriet Tubman5. Matahama Ganhdi

6.Queen Elizabeth I

7. Hillary Rodham Clinton

Intellectual Heroes, Heroines

Intellectual Heroes, Heroines

A few of my intellectual heroes & heroines:

1. Carol Gilligan
2. Carl Jung
3. Henry David Thoreau
4. Joseph Campbell
5. Jared Diamond
6. Virginia Woolf
7. Buddha

Le Baron Von Trapp Das Poopsmitten

Another Alter Ego has inexorably emerged: Le Baron Von Trapp Das Poopsmitten. Le Baron has been seen tooling around the neighborhood on his 150cc Jet Black, 4-stroke, Bajaj scooter. What can we expect from Le Baron?

*Will rescue damsels in distress

*will cut off SUVs at 20 mph

*will smirk at the gas station, when filling up for 2 dollars

*will do pop-a-wheelies over potholes

*will take selected ladies for rides

*will wink & beep hello to small children

*will give the thumbs up to the Harley boys

*will come to an emotional rescue (per pre-arrangement)